Abuse List

This is the list I kept in my pocket for months, to remind myself why I was leaving my abuser.

Current-within past year

criticizes me and my abilities as a spouse, cook, homemaker, and parent

puts me down or fights with me in front of friends or family

suddenly gets angry or loses his temper

disrespectful and hate-filled tone of voice

shames

yells

belittles

becomes unreasonably jealous

abandons me for gambling

sneaks up on me and listens to conversations

Screamed at me in front of the kids that he wasn't getting enough f***ing sex

Withholding- the choice to keep virtually all one's thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams to oneself and to remain silent and aloof toward one's partner.

Silent treatment

Startling me, then laughing as if it were a joke

Blocking-refusing to communicate, withholding information

Accusing and blaming

Judging

Forgetting agreements, promises, incidents

Intimidating and dominating through angry outbursts and yelling

Denying abusive behavior

Past (any behavior from the past can unexpectedly reoccur)

all of the above, plus:

threatened to hurt me, or himself

threatened to kill me, or himself

woke me up in the middle of the night to recount my faults. This used to happen regularly.

prevented me from seeing family or friends

blocked doorways so I couldn't get through

smoked in our bedroom, even though my doctor prescribed no cigarette smoke exposure

destroyed personal property

slapped

shoved

mocked

became extremely jealous

accused me of having affairs with men and women

prevented me from going places

imprisonment in my home

badgered me

abandoned me for drinking and drugs

had to know exactly where I was all the time

name-calling

kept me from seeing family and friends

provided no money for family needs like food and clothing

yelled at me if I asked for money

got angry if I was sick and couldn't do housework or cooking

has been arrested for violence against me

threatened me with divorce