Abused Christian Women
|
Abused Christian Women
|
|
|
A collection of resources for Christian women living in, escaping, or recovering from abusive relationships. Home Women Pastors & Counselors Friends FAQ's My Story More Stories Site Guide To join a support mailing list dedicated to helping abuse victims, go to The Dove Project |
Prose and PoetryThis page is dedicated to the artistic expression of our lives with and without abuse. Send contributions to Heidi.You Can'tby HelenHe comes in that day and you feel your stomach ache. You shudder and he shames and you wonder what you say. You know you must say something, but the words do not come. You been there before, and it’s never undone. You sit at the table with your children in tow One glass of juice or a noodle does fall. The yelling begins, and the tantrums our show Words not from him are mentioned to solve You can’t say anything to make the hurt go away. Silence does happen, but you don’t want to stay. Your children are hurting, and he still isn’t nice. You wait for that moment to calm and make nice. Dinner is done and the dishes put away Your start the next shift, and go on with your day. You get the kids settled, and you find your little safe spot. Inching and wondering, Why is your world so shot? Then he comes down to greet you with a smile on his face. He acts like nothing has happened with no shame or disgrace You sit there wondering what message did you send? I don’t want you here and I shouldn’t have to bend. He stands there wanting the distance to be gone He pushes closer and closer and you just can’t respond. What do you do? What do you say? He pushes and pushes and never goes away. You can’t force closeness to the one you’ve lost You can’t pressure trust when we never know how you will respond. You can’t intimidate into intimacy with someone you say you love You can’t have it both ways and think you have won. Days later problems happen and you just want to hide You don’t want to talk because it is never very nice. You wait for the crowning moment nice and relaxed, You really need to speak to you him and you can’t hold back. It starts is real slow and you try to keep pace, But the explosion soon starts right in your face. Nothing is nice! Nothing is fair! It’s all your fault and he makes that perfectly clear. He refuses to help fix or even be kind He treats you like the enemy and your forced to resign. As you slowly retreat you have strong feelings of doom. How could this happen did I talk to soon? Did I say it wrong, or have a look on my face I don’t understand why I’m such a disgrace. You find a safe place to work on the game plan. You fix that problem and never with him. You handle the issue – at least parts that you can. You look over what happened, and you remain mad. Evening soon comes and you retreat to your bed. He comes in and comes over and you just want to gag. He kisses your face and then strokes your back. You want to get up and leave and then you’re pulled back. You can’t force closeness to the one you have lost You can’t pressure trust when you can not resolve. You can’t intimidate into intimacy with someone you love You can’t have it both ways and think you have won. After years of belittling and verbal attacks You find it hard to get your self esteem back. You search for the answer and fix you still need. Until you have realized that you really need to flee. Nothing will change Nothing will be good Nothing will happen until you are gone. You live in denial with all you have left Then finally hear the “snap” of that old camel’s back. You fear the reactions of family and friends Will they take your side or try to befriend him. They will think you the wimp Will you lose their respect For trying to keep peace for so long And for finally stopping to fight back. You work to improve yourself To change your way of thinking You fight the doubts without even blinking You sit and worry if you have really done it. Or if he is right and you will really plummet. What will he say? How will he react? Will in be nice or some sort of attack. You hear the sad story of how sorry he is He has seen the errors of his ways And now the change can begin. You hesitate a little and wonder what is right That hesitation now starts a new kind of fight. Always Remember when the new this assault on your back: You can’t force closeness to the one you have lost You can’t pressure trust when we never know how you will respond. You can’t intimidate into intimacy with someone you loved You can’t have it both ways and think you have won. Keep saying: You can’t force closeness to the one you have lost You can’t pressure trust when you can not resolve. You can’t intimidate into intimacy with someone you love You can’t have it both ways and think you have won. Stonyby SharonYour eyes lower to the ground In response to my question, And I am met with The hard, dry barrenness Of your stony silence. Did I dream the water That once fed this place? Long past, it flowed freely over these rocks Fed by a spring, hidden to those it drew To frolic in its coolness: Softening your hardness, Filling your silence, Bringing tenderness and joy. But had I joined in their frolic I, who held back, Had I played, and tasted, and splashed it on my face, I would have known: That the spring was My self And the flowing water My tears. 7 Days of Freedomby IvetteSeven days without abuse I am confident, I feel strong Yet some guilt remains, it isn't all gone I tried hard to make it work I told him his actions were wrong But that wasn't good enough The abuse went on and on Now there is quiet, there is peace No one cutting me with words I no longer walk on eggshells Fearing him yelling -- useless, lazy, crazy And I know I can go on I must fight to save my life I will not go back to living Another threatened, sleepless night My children's lives are what's at stake I must focus on my strength They deserve a happy home But I feel it is too late They too are the victims They have seen so much abuse Mom's self-esteem is gone We'll not look back, we will go on I will have to work real hard To pay the bills on time The collectors will not care It's not their problem, it's mine But I now come home from work Without fear or hesitation I made a choice to stop the tears Not live my life controlled, in fear I can now see my family I can now use the phone I can now have friends over Without fear that he is home What will he say, what will he do How will he humiliate me too And to my friends who stuck by me Despite his insults, his objections I have to truly thank you You gave me strength, no question In the end I only pray I can get my smile, my spirit back That in the years I have remaining I will not suffer more attacks That I can learn to trust again That my soul will heal from all this pain That life will be free of fear And that my children see there is hope Of more happiness than tears And to the creep who stole my life I hope some day you will see The pain you caused those you claim to love Did not even have to be That you admit the damage done That you learn to stop the rage And decide to make a change But most of all I pray to God You will not hurt anyone again Written on December 24, 2002 (Christmas Eve) the 7-day Anniversary of my freedom from abuse--Ivette R No More No Moreby Cynthia MooreI knew the day would come, I felt it in my heart. How long can you yell and scream at someone, And not expect them to fall apart? I look back through the years, And wondered why I stayed. I did not have the strength or courage to be able to walk away. I finally came to the point in my life, I knew I couldn't take no more. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, But I had to walk out that door. I cried and cried for days, As I made my plans. I asked the Lord Jesus to guide me with his hands. It's been almost 2 years ago since I finally walked out that door. I've learned two simple words since then... No More No More! |
|
|
|
|
Contact Us Site Guide
Give Us Feedback
About Full Cup Privacy Policy |
|
|
|
|