Characteristics
of Abusers
1.
Found in all socio-economic, educational, racial, and age
groups.
2. Usually male.
3. Poor impulse control - explosive temper - limited tolerance
for frustration.
4. Emotional dependency - subject to secret depressions known
only to family.
5. Limited capacity for delayed gratification - very "now"
oriented.
6. Insatiable ego needs - quality of childlike narcissisms
(not generally detectable to people outside family group.)
7. Low self-esteem - perceived unachieved ideals and goals
for self- disappointment in career even if successful by other's
standards. Exhibits this behavior by being very arrogant and
cocky.
8. Great potential for change and improvement, i.e., frequent
"promises" for the future.
9. Perception of self as having poor social skills - describes
relationship with mate as closest he has ever known.
10. Jealous. Voices great fear of being abandoned or "cheated
on" which causes the jealousy.
11. Isolation of mate and use of espionage tactics against
her i.e., checks mileage, times errands - cleverness depends
on level of sophistication. She becomes a prisoner in her
own home.
12. Lacks awareness of others' personal boundaries.
13. Belief that his forcible behavior is his responsibility
and obligation for the good of the family.
14. Apparently feels no guilt on an emotional level even after
intellectual recognition of abusive episodes.
15. Generational history of family of violence. Is a witness
for mistreatment and disrespect of women.
16. Assaultive skills which increase with age & experience
accompanied by a rise in danger potential & lethality
risks.
17. Demanding, aggressive, and even assaultive in sexual activities
- sometimes punishes with abstinence- at times experiences
impotence. Insensitive to victims sexual needs or desires.
18. Increase in assaultive behavior when she is pregnant which
frequently causes miscarriage.
19. Exerting control over mate by threatening homicide and/or
suicide - often attempts one or both when partner is trying
to leave - known to complete either or both.
20. Chooses type of abuse that most effectively pushes the
victim's 'buttons'.
21. Blames everyone else for abuse. Accepts no blame for failures
(marital, familial, or occupational), or for violence.
