Emotional and Psychological Abuse

Emotional Abuse Is:
Putting the other person down
Making the other person feel bad about themselves
Calling the other person names
Making the other person think they are crazy
Playing mind games
Humiliating the other person
Making the other person feel guilty
Using Privileges

Treating the other person like a servant
Making all the big decisions
Acting like the master of the castle
Being the one who determines the roles
Using Economic Abuse

Preventing the other person from getting or keeping a job
Making the other person ask for money
Giving the other person an allowance
Taking the other person's money
Not letting the other person know about or have access to family income
Using Coercion and Threats

Making or carrying out threats to do something to hurt the other person
Threatening to leave the other person, to commit suicide, report the other person to welfare
Making the other person drop charges
Making the other person do illegal things
Using Intimidation

Making the other person afraid by using looks, gestures, or actions
Smashing things
Abusing pets
Displaying weapons
Using Children

Making the other person feel guilty about the children
Using the children to relay messages
Using visitation to harass the other person
Threatening to take the children away
Using Isolation

Controlling what the other person does, who they see and talk to, what's read, and where they go
Limiting their outside involvement
Using jealousy to justify actions
Minimizing, Denying, Blaming

Making light of the abuse and not taking the other person's concerns about it seriously
Saying the abuse never happened
Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
Saying the other person caused it
HAS ANY OF THE FOLLOWING EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?

Does your partner:

Blame everyone else especially you, for his or her mistakes?
Yes___ No___

Prevent you from seeing your family or friends?
Yes___ No___

Curse you, say mean things, mock you or humiliate you?
Yes___ No___

Force you to have sex or force you to engage in sex that makes you feel uncomfortable?
Yes___ No___

Restrain, hit, punch, slap, or kick you?
Yes___ No___

Intimidate or threaten you?
Yes___ No___

Ever prevent you from leaving the house, getting a job, or continuing your education?
Yes___ No___

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.

Emotional Abuse and Children
Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior that attacks a child's emotional development and sense of self-worth. Emotional abuse includes excessive, aggressive or unreasonable demands that place expectations on a child beyond his or her capacity. Constant criticizing, belittling, insulting, rejecting and teasing are some of the forms these verbal attacks can take. Emotional abuse also includes failure to provide the psychological nurturing necessary for a child's psychological growth and development -- providing no love, support or guidance (National Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse, 1987).

Emotional abuse of children can lead, in adulthood, to addiction, rage, a severely damaged sense of self and an inability to truly bond with others.

Recent evidence shows that child abuse from a young age literally has the capability to change the formation of the brain which in turn results in life long behavioral changes.


More Questions to ask yourself:
Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?

Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?

Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?

Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups?

Does your partner limit your access to work, money or material resources?

Has your partner ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle?

Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close?

Have you ever felt obligated to have sex, just to avoid an argument about it?

Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?

Has your partner ever thrown away your belongings, destroyed objects or threatened pets?

Are you afraid of your partner?


More Signs of Emotional Abuse:
Monitors what you're doing all the time

criticizes you for little things

constantly accuses you of being unfaithful

prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family, or going to work or school

gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs

controls how you spend your money

controls your use of needed medicines

humiliates you in front of others

destroys your property or things that you care about

threatens to hurt you, the children, or pets, or does hurt you (by hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting)

uses or threatens to use a weapon against you

forces you to have sex against your will

blames you for his or her violent outbursts

If the legal or judicial system failed to protect you or a family member
from abuse Please Contact:
Amnesty International & The United Nations

Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224